Hitch Haters

February 2012 Column Brady L. Kay

With all the joke emails circulating the Internet these days, the one that made me laugh the hardest wasn't actually intended as a joke; at least I don't think it was. At the risk of sounding like an insensitive redneck, the email I received awhile back was from a guy in Texas who was pleading with me to help his cause against the use of trailer hitches. To say the least his email had me laughing out loud.

His request was a simple one, to please consider including an article on the "virtues of removing the trailer hitch between uses." That's an actual quote from him and for the record, there is no way I would have chosen the word "virtue" here.  

First of all, I always thought it was against the law to live in Texas and NOT own a truck. But I guess the reality is that not everyone does, but at the very least if I drove an Escort I wouldn't be emailing truck magazines.

This guy actually created a web page to document his recent encounter with an F-250 Super Duty's hitch. His website, complete with photos of his beloved Escort of course, goes into great detail on why hitches should be removed when not being used for towing.

I guess my problem with his thinking is where he's putting the blame for his fender bender. After all, he was the one who rear-ended the truck, so shouldn't it be the truck owner who should be campaigning to keep Escorts from running into him? If he truly wants to protect his over-sized go-kart, he should start by paying attention when he's on the road.  

A friend of mine had a lady hit him once and it did the same thing to her car. She was on her phone and thought the traffic was moving and it did some damage to her car. As for my friend, well it just scratched his hitch a little.

I hear all the time of people leaving their hitches on just to protect their trucks against inattentive drivers hitting them from behind. I know I do. So to get this email with a web link from a man determined to get the word out against hitches, well it made me laugh.

Seriously, there are a lot better issues in the world to fight for. We're not talking about trying to get fresh water to some African village here, we're talking about an Escort owner who needs to find a hobby.   

I considered running his web address, but I already get enough stares from my neighbors who think I'm an environmental terrorist as it is.

But he kind of goes on the attack with his web page by starting out with, "For those members of the human race who can't go a week without fantasizing about how cool it would be if a sub-compact car was to skewer itself on the trailer hitch of their pickup." Well at least he has a sense of humor, I think. He claims he was only going eight miles an hour, but both airbags did deploy, which makes it even funnier to me. Sorry Mr. Texas Escort, I won't be able to help you with your fight against hitches. Instead, I'm just going to pass along the "virtues" of leaving your trailer hitch in between uses to help protect your own bumper.

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