Pimp My Car?

Published in the October 2008 Issue October 2008 Column

With the price of diesel fuel where it's been this past year, it was only a matter of time before it started affecting our driving habits. It's no longer cool to dump smoke at an intersection, mainly because you can actually see the dollar signs rolling out the tailpipe when you flog on it in traffic. Granted, you still see high horsepower diesel pickups around, but it seems they are usually seen parked in driveways while the owner is cruising back and forth to work in his wife's car.

I for one am sorry and a little bit ashamed to say that I too have been affected by fuel prices and have stooped low enough to be driving a self-proclaimed `chick car' to and from work while my Power Stroke sits, collecting dust in the garage. Just last week, driving across town I pulled up to a stop light next to a lifted Dodge Cummins. The driver, a late 20s male, looked over at me and laughed. Yeah, he laughed. Turns out I'm not the only one who thinks cruising around town in a car is lame.

At that moment I started thinking to myself, with fuel prices still up in the $4.70 range, what can I do to make this little car cooler to drive? I can't afford to cruise around in my truck, but my self-dignity fades quicker and quicker every time someone I know sees me in this car. I sat down and made a list. Maybe these will help you out, too.

TOP 3 WAYS TO MAKE YOUR WIFE'S GROCERY GETTER COOLER TO DRIVE

1-Limo tint. Cover every window of that car with the darkest tint made. Can't find 2 percent tint in your area? Use the darkest you can find. If no one can see in, they will still just assume it's a girl driving the car. Tint laws restrict limo tint? Explain to the officer your reasoning for dark windows, hopefully he'll understand.

2-Diesel performance stickers. Get a couple of your favorite diesel performance shop stickers in the back window. Remove your wife's Mary Kay decal and get some well-known diesel shop's logo back there. The car may still be a chick car but at least other guys will see that you do know a little bit about diesel performance. How about a DHRA sticker? That should help.

3-Line-X or Rhino liner across the bottom of the car. That should help beef up the look with a little more manly style. On that note, do they make a 225/60R15 passenger car tire in a mud terrain?

With these few minor modifications maybe you can make that car a little less `girlie' and maintain some of your self-respect and dignity while cruising around. We all know the reasons we've resorted to 4-banger cars, maybe these few tips will help others see as well.

Oh and as a side note, if your wife's grocery getter is A) a Dodge Caravan, B) a Subaru Outback or C) a Volkswagon Beetle, disregard everything you've just read and sell off one of your children or some of your internal body organs for diesel money so you can continue driving your truck. You won't ever make those cars cool.

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